another dream...

Well, I debated about whether or not I should put this here but what the hell. It was a dream and I can't control the things that go through my crazy pregnant mind in the middle of the night. So...
Last night in my dreams I had semi-sexual relations with one of my first cousins. We made it to about 2nd base before we got CAUGHT by my whole family! All I can say is that it was closer to a nightmare, for more than one reason. Well, I am off to start my day.

T-shirts and pajama pants

T-shirts and pajama pants, the hum-drum of every wardrobe. Here is the major malfunction with mine.

Problem #1 My t-shirts are too old. I mean ridiculously old. I am still wearing around shirts from the '90's. Every single one of them is stained, ripped or holey. The fabric has worn so thin that I could rip them apart with my bare hands without putting in any effort whatsoever. I fear that they will fall apart in the washer, which has happened to me in the past sorry to say.

My excuse: I am a loser and never go anywhere or do anything in which I would be entitled to a new t-shirt. Or, my t-shirts are simply too sentimental to me to ever get rid of them. I mean who doesn't love to wear an old holey t-shirt to bed? I am pretty sure that I am dealing with a little of both here.

Solution: My goal is to get rid of all of my current t-shirts and start anew. If I want t-shirts then I will have to earn them by running 5K's, donating blood, volunteering, traveling, and you get the drift. Now, I am pregnant and WAY above my normal size right now s0 I am going to have to delay this journey for right now but when I achieve my normal size again I will give myself a year to see what I can come up with. I will keep you all updated with my progress here of course.

Problem #2 Comfy, cute, girly pajama pants have evaded me my entire life.

My excuse: I am too tall for all of the cutesy women's pajama pants and the men's pants have crotches that come to my knees. What does a tall girl have to do for some damn cute pajama pants!? I will tell you what...

Solution: I will make them. I know how to sew now and while I have not mastered pants yet I am pretty sure I can swing some flannel drawstring pajama pants. And the big kicker is that I can make them as LONG as I want. Once again I am huge right now so I will have to postpone this for a few months but I can't wait to begin!

If I am going to be hanging around the house playing stay-at-home-mom with a toddler and a newborn for awhile I can at least be "styling" house-style with my new t-shirts and my cute jammy pants.

What condition are your t-shirts in?

I'm a whore!

So last night I worked in a whore house...in my dream. This was one of those dreams that felt like it lasted all night too so a lot happened. The greatest part about working at the whore house last night was that I didn't have to "whore" at all because I was still pregnant by hubby's baby in my dream. Don't ask me who the idiot was who hired a married pregnant woman, but I digress.
This was...the whore house of my dreams, literally. Even though I was pregnant, I was beautiful pregnant. (HA!) I felt so pretty that I totally felt confident walking around naked with the other girls in our living quarters. We had regular grooming provided for us including waxing, manis, pedis, etc. One of my friends worked there with me and the rest of the girls and guys were not only highly educated but were very friendly and provided great lengthy stimulating conversation.
We were expected to work out most days and were provided with an AMAZING gym. I was giddy at the the thought even though I was prego and couldn't do much.
Well, it is slipping away, so I will be quick here...naked group therapy was not only hilarious but very refreshing. I stealthily decided that I would work there until they deemed me able to "whore" again and then I would quit. Oops :)
After I woke I told hubby about my dream and he told me that he had dreamed that I was cheating on him right next to him in the bed. What a coincidence! I assured him all was well and that even though I WAS working in a whore house I was being as pure as fresh snow.

What did you dream about last night?

Comfortably numb...

ya

I feel sick...

Wow. Just wow. I see one status message on facebook from someone in my past pertaining to a car tragedy I was involved in with three other people and my emotional juices started flowing. Hard. I can't even type fast enough to get down all that I am feeling because they are running around in there too fast. I am sure the hormonal imbalances of being pregnant don't help. I don't know if I am comforted or distressed that there are at least a small handful of people, three of us for sure, that will carry this one group of horrible memories, each through our own eyes, for the rest of our lives. I'm feeling nauseated so I will leave you with this.

Wear your goddamn seat belt and don't fuck around with automobiles. One bad decision can change your life and many others.

the perfect drug

How I never became a full on drug addict I will never know. Sometimes I think that the pull will always be there for me, knowing that I could numb the pain even if only for a little while at a time.

i can't sleep again...ever...

Is anything real at all? I mean our entire existence is based on our perceptions which are completely subjective and contrary to what we might believe are based on mere pieces of the puzzle.

What if you were given the option to literally "plug" into another person? To live, feel and experience as they do? Would you? Would you then allow someone to see your world?

I've been running my NIN albums in loops for that last few days so here are a couple of my favorites.