Its beautiful out today!! I've opened all the windows and the back door, the birds are singing, there's a breeze blowing through the house, and my sidekick (see below) is playing in the back yard. Ahhhh :)
Here's the sidekick camping out with the kids and I in the backyard one summer night a couple years ago. I may sometimes question who does and does not love me but I NEVER doubt that this dog loves me 100%.
Moving on! I'll be playing domestic goddess/nerd today. Its my day off of work so I'm cleaning the entire house, cooking up a bunch of food, and I've loaded up Witcher 3 to play during breaks. As I walked past my kid's bathroom this morning a slight waft of urine smell hit me in the face. Ewwww!!! How?!!! I really don't understand what happens in a little boy's bathroom. Anyway, I'm going in like this with my cleaning supplies. Hope that I make it out alive. ;)
Halfway through my mystery book and its just as ridiculous and horrible as I predicted so far but its a little like a bad flick on the sci-fi channel. Sometimes they're just so bad that you can't stop watching!
Off to clean!!!
Song of the day today is some Kpop
Working today! I'm pretty sleepy so I stealthily took two tiny catnaps at my desk during lunch. I'm pretty sure I don't need to be stealthy about that here but "when in doubt...", and all. Some time was spent reading as well. Unfortunately, I abandoned the mystery book I was reading. Four chapters in and I simply couldn't hang. However, I really want to do this so to make it slightly easier for myself, I traded in that one for Christmas Caramel Murder, same author. In doing so, I've dropped 125 pages off the total to be read and the book is almost half the size of the other which means smaller pages and less words to a page. Win! Chapters are pretty short as well. Where there's a will there's a way! If I was able to finish Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina by reading ten pages at a time over a period of 11 months, then I can make it through 200 pages of Christmas Caramel Murder. Anyway, I just started chapter three and the red velvet cookie recipe from the first chapter is calling my name. Yummm!
I whipped up grilled cheese creation #2 the other night from my cookbook adventure. It was sinful with bacon, cheddar cheese, onions, and tomatoes on sourdough bread. My youngest didn't approve because of the onions but the rest were gobbled up.
As for updates on home projects, I picked up a bunch of paint chips last night in all shades of grey and tan to peruse. As much as I do not feel like tackling a huge painting project right now, it seems my heart has other plans and the orange in my living room will be coming to an end sooner than later.
Progress has been made in the gardening beds as well, though it might be considered regression. When turning over the dirt to begin prepping the soil, the raised beds I built were chipping away, crumbling under any pressure, and have settled into the earth so far as it would be a stretch to consider them raised beds at this point. I decided to rip everything out and start anew. When I built those beds, roughly five years ago, I didn't have the extra money to make them double height and placed the beds too close together. There were a couple other things that I now know could have been improved as well. For now, the area has been cleared and I'm working on creating a better design this time around. More on this project at a later date!
Today I feel like the me I know best. Insanely loud music in my ear to drown out the thoughts, a tear in my eye, lonely with a chip on my shoulder and a me-against-the-world attitude from being fucked with one too many times, and enough emotion and adrenilne coursing through my system to do whatever needs to be done, consequences be damned. This, I've learned, is how I deal with sadness and/or hurt if it goes on too long. I was sad over the weekend, deep down where I tend to hide these types of things, and apparently my ass-kicking side had enough and took over this morning to alleviate the problem. This is all well and good except there's no problem to solve. All that's needed is acceptance of the way things are, each day, no matter how it may differ from past days, and with the knowledge that a lot can change from one day to the next, I have no control over other people, and nothing...NOTHING is guaranteed to be here today just because it was yesterday. Daily. Acceptance. Its hard!
So...I'll continue to go back and forth between sadness and anger for awhile until I wear myself out, have a good cry (or a few), and then move on with this life of mine.
I'll leave you with what's been on repeat for me all morning. This one goes back!
Checking in! Since I completed my butterfly project, I'm off on another. I've always wanted to cook my way through an entire cookbook so...I'm going to! :) This was a bit tricky and so required some forethought. I didn't want to bite off more than I could chew (pun intended) with a cookbook full of 100+ recipes. That would take too long and I would like to complete my little project in less than a year tops. Also, I thought it would be smart to narrow the scope of the recipes. I'm a practical woman at heart and not made of money so it was important that my family actually eat the recipes from whatever cookbook I chose. Therefore, all thoughts of healthy foods promptly flew out the window!
I brought home a few cookbooks from the library that were very focused in their offerings (cookbooks solely dedicated to waffles, dump cakes, muffins, mac n' cheese, etc.) and let my family choose what they would like to eat the most of. In the end, Laura Werlin's Grilled Cheese, Please! was the winner.
I made the first grilled cheese from this book last night featuring spinach, manchego cheese, and eggs and it was a smash hit. Forty-nine more to go! Stay tuned for more cheesiness.
In other news, I finished the Armenian genocide book (a solid 4 stars) and went way out in left field with the next book I chose. The one genre I almost always steer clear of when reading is mystery. Something about it just turns me off. It feels too formulaic or something. However, there is this whole sub-genre of mystery called cozy mysteries and to break it down even further, there is a whole sub-genre of cozy mysteries that include actual recipes throughout their stories. It goes something like this, you curl up with your cozy mystery, maybe read the first chapter about a baker who discovers a dead body while baking some cookies, and after reading about her making the cookies, you're rewarded with the actual recipe for those cookies at the end of the chapter! Now you can make the same cookies from the story! I love it. Lol. I don't like mysteries but my curiosity has gotten the best of me and I decided to try one of these books out. If nothing else, it's short, the content will humor me, and I'll get to do some fun cooking. I chose Carrot Cake Murder by Joanne Fluke for this venture and I'm already on chapter 4, so 3 recipes in.
Greeting netizens! I've been sitting here for five minutes trying to get things out of me into this blog post but they're not coming. Feelings are challenging sometimes so I'll just write what I've been up to and hopefully they'll come out that way. :)
I got a new job, and a better one at that, so I rewarded myself with a new PS4!! I've never owned my own game console before and it'll be guarded with my life just like everything else I consider "mine".Lol. I dove headfirst in Witcher 3 for my first game and its just what I was looking for. All good things there!
Four of the caterpillars in my butterfly kit have emerged as butterflies as of today. I released two yesterday, one today, and got to witness two fly away. That was an amazing feeling. One of the four came out with deformed wings and died a while later. The fifth and final caterpillar made a cocoon that didn't look right from the start. It turned black and I'm pretty sure its a dud. Therefore, the butterfly adventure has come to an end. Great experience. Marking it off the list.
Also on the bucket list was to give blood for the first time. An opportunity fell into my lap the other day and I took it. I set up an appointment right away, went in the next day, and got a free t-shirt out of the deal. I absolutely HATE needles but I love free t-shirts! I'm not sure its something I ever want to do again, even though I had a great experience, but I can now say I did it at least once!
Finally, I recently went on an adventure with the fam to the Alligator Farm. That was a pretty good day and we saw a lot of this...lol
That's it for now but I'll leave you with another ridiculous tune. Audio Bully's remix of Nancy Sinatra's Shot You Down unexpectedly came through my Pandora this morning in the gym. Never heard it before but it spent the rest of the day with me on repeat. I have no idea why!
Aaah, another day passes. Today was a little challenging due to being a little under the weather with a cold and rushing around to get things done but I accomplished everything, I'm sitting here in my bed at 10pm eating my go-to meal of meat, rice, and kimchi, listening to music and for the moment...I'm happy. Like really really happy. I'm soaking in it!
My five baby caterpillars arrived on schedule and are growing rapidly. So cute to watch! These aren't mine below but they're about this size today. How can they grow so much EVERY DAY?!
In other news, while dropping my kids off at Spring Break camp I ran into this...
I was so fascinated that the world left me for a good two minutes and when I came back from work to pick them up it was there waiting for me. LOL
That's all for tonight! I'll leave you with two things. The first is an embarrassment but it is what it is. I stumbled into a pop song today, Camila Cabello's Never Be the Same, and I'm hooked. It will be played to death for a few days and then left alone but for now...Preach it girl...PREACH!!!
The second, a poem that hit home this evening...
Gardens are also good places
to sulk. You pass beds of
spiky voodoo lilies
and trip over the roots
of a sweet gum tree,
in search of medieval
plants whose leaves,
when they drop off
turn into birds
if they fall on land,
and colored carp if they
plop into water.
Suddenly the archetypal
human desire for peace
with every other species
wells up in you. The lion
and the lamb cuddling up.
The snake and the snail, kissing.
Even the prick of the thistle,
queen of the weeds, revives
your secret belief
in perpetual spring,
your faith that for every hurt
there is a leaf to cure it.
Three months...that's how long it has taken for me to start feeling stagnant after finishing school. My brain is bursting with ideas for new things to experience and new goals to tackle. In an effort to keep myself under control I'm working from some lists.
First, I wanted to read for pleasure again. Unfortunately, grad school absolutely killed this for me. With the suffocating and consistent time constraints for pleasurable activities, I got to the point where I would only read graphic novels (and only the shortest ones) because I knew I could get my story fix quickly and move on. Regular novels were too much of a time commitment. When school ended I found myself still struggling to make those time commitments and no book looked appealing anymore. My solution was to dive into an old list I was working through before school and I'm now, once again, working my way around the world through books. I'm currently in the middle of Forgotton Fire by Adam Bagdasarian which is a YA, historical fiction novel focusing on one boy's experience during the Armenian genocide of 1915. Every chapter seems more horrifying than the last but I'm learning something new from history and engaged so win/win!
Second, I created a bucket list during the last few weeks of school of things for me to do and experience when I finished. It was motivating for me to think about having a life again. I've been pretty sloth-like since graduation but those fires seem to be raging again so I'm finally tackling one of the items on that list. I purchased the butterfly kit below from Amazon and my five baby caterpillars should arrive tomorrow. Somehow I missed out on this as a kid but I will finally be able to see a caterpillar turn into a butterfly! I'm a little excited. ;) In the future I hope to do it the more natural way with a milkweed plant perhaps. More on this later probably.
Finally, I have so many projects/wants/needs bouncing around in my head. I'll jot down a few...
A complete master bathroom remodel. I've never done this before, have no one who can give me much advice, I'm overwhelmed by the options and decorating is not my strong suit, but I'm excited!
I've been looking for a large painting for weeks and cannot find what I'm looking for. I'm toying with the idea of doing it myself. I didn't take art classes in college for nothing!!
In that same vein, I'm working on putting some of my own photos up in the house as well as adding some other homey things like curtains and other decorations. I'm sick of living in a house that looks like no one lives here.
I'm ready to repaint my living and dining room which happens to be the entire middle of the house. Currently they're orange. Yes, orange. I love the orange still but I'm ready for something more neutral and with a house sale in the not-so-distant future it will have to be done eventually anyway. Pretty big project but its itching at me.
Everyone in the house needs a new bed and mattress. $$$
I've been waiting for the right time to buy a new, bigger TV for the living room as well as my very own PS4. Coming soon!!!
I've picked Spanish back up and have been working hard on Duolingo to refresh myself on everything I learned there. From there, I plan to pick back up where I left off in my workbooks and begin weekly Skype chats again with my language exchange partner(s).
My backyard garden beds are taunting me every day. "Plant us", they say. I will! I promise!
Enough of that for now. Its late and a long day is coming tomorrow.
