my thoughts on stress-induced cleaning

Tonight I was reminded of when I was younger and could not have cared less that my room was a complete pigsty when my friends came over. I didn't care and I know they didn't really care and even if they noticed we would just joke about it and move on. I never felt like less of a person or anything because of it. So what has changed between then and now? Why is it that when I know someone is coming over I stress about what the house looks/smells like and what they will think? When did unkempt living quarters became a negative reflection on me?! And more so why does it feel like it is all my fault when there are two other people living here with me.

It became very clear that I have set up standards for myself on what it means to be a successful wife/mother and one of those standards is having an impeccably clean house any time I have company! I mean NO germs and NOTHING out of place lol. Sometimes I even worry that my son thinks that the house is too messy! This is totally unrealistic and I am putting a stop to it now! Perfection is unattainable and I am only hurting myself. I have a toddler and there is no way that my house is going to be perfect at all times.

So this got me thinking about what I remember about mine and other peoples houses as a child. My mom is a total perfectionist and was a cleaning, neat freak. However, when I look back I remember growing up in a house that we were renovating ourselves. I remember walking on plywood floors for what seemed like years until we could afford the new flooring and our bathroom had to be from the stone ages lol and areas of the house would be gutted and left that way for months until they could finish the work on them. All of this was going on and it didn't bother me at all and in my eyes had nothing to do with either one of my parents. My aunt and her family were on the other end of the spectrum and NEVER cleaned, EVER. Their house was a wreck. ALL the clothes were on the floor ALL over the house, dirty dishes stacked up(like if you wanted to use a fork you had to wash one) and I LOVED it there. They had a beautiful house on a beautiful piece of land and they were so happy as a family. As I look back I envy them for not letting other people set their standards for them--at least in that department.

Soooo, I think that I am going to try something for awhile. My goal is to keep my house "clean" but it can totally be a "mess". The point is to let it be how my family and I are comfortable with it being, not what I think other's think it should be.