Working and waiting to get back up

"I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become."

"Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger but they will never be you."

"I am thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn't have stumbled across my strength."

Ran across each of these recently and they stood out. Therefore, they go here for me to read again and again.
I've cried a lot in the last two days. What can I say? I'm having some really shitty feelings at the moment. I know deep down that this only goes two ways. Eventually, I will either get better again or I will die. Nevertheless, I'm taking steps to stay in the "alive" camp.

1. Cuddle with my dog who seems to love me the most in this world
2. Exercise even if its takes Herculean effort and tears to put forth a pitiful effort. It still makes endorphins...I think
3. Do at least one thing on the "to-do" list so there will be a sense of progress and accomplishment no matter how small
4. Listen to really loud music and sing along
5. Keep to the regular "routine" of what happens in day-to-day life no matter how badly the desire is to call out of work, quit going to the gym, stop eating, throw away the phone, wither away, and die in my sleep.
6. Learn all over again how to say "Fuck it" and "Fuck them" and really mean it when there are things that are out of my control no matter what I do and even for the things that are in my control and yet I fail at time and time again
7. Keep my heart warm and continue to give love no matter how many rejections I may face
8. Sleep, sleep, and then sleep more.
9. Cry until it feels numb and then realize that I'm still here. Move on until the next cry
10. Do things I like no matter how empty or numb it feels doing them. Do the things. (eat, cook, watch kdramas and movies, game, read books, sleep, etc.)
11. Remember that no matter what I will always at least have myself in this world and I think I'm alright!

I need to sleep now. I'll leave you with a song that has hurt like hell since I was a young girl. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Let's fight to stay alive, shall we? Why? I have no idea. Because its not time yet, that's why. Because maybe someone needs us.

Until next time...