But I won't...
Instead, I'm going to vent a little and then try to turn that shit around. Watch me work!
I had to buy a dress and things to attend a semi-formal event this week. I adamantly insisted that I did not wish to attend and that with Christmas coming up so soon it would be horrible timing to have to take time and spend money on something that wasn't for the kids, friends, or family. Nevertheless, it is happening anyway and a lot of time and money went into it. Time and money that I planned to use elsewhere. I'm stressed, angry, discouraged, and resentful and having a hard time overcoming it....
At the same time I'll be wearing a beautiful dress and both my kids and I will experience something new. Someone will cook and serve me dinner instead of the other way around. Somebody's doing my makeup for me which I've never experienced before...and for free! I'll be able to make at least some of my money back by either returning or reselling the things I bought and may still be able to swing the purchase I would have rather been making instead. I'll be helping out and making my spouse happy which always makes for a more pleasant home environment. No one will die and life will continue on, no matter what, after its all said and done. See there? Positive muscles are getting pumped!
I've created some aggressive financial goals for 2019. Goals which require me to eliminate, cold turkey, somewhere between a quarter and a third of our annual income and devote it to hidden savings accounts and other things. Things are going to feel tight those first couple months and well...I'm worried and a little scared. My family looks to me to make sure their needs are met and I will be the one to take the blame when groceries and meal times aren't as fun and free as before or when some things will need to be sacrificed or purchases maybe held off on for a bit. After all, even though I've briefed everyone on "my plans", it was my decision to squeeze the accounts. They're not the only ones either. I won't lie, its nicer to live comfortably and not have to worry as much.
Nicer, yes, but also more wasteful. I've done the calculations and there is plenty of money to still live comfortably. This will (hopefully) force everyone to be more cognizant about spending. The kids will learn the value of a dollar and work better in an environment where everything isn't available, all the time. Less trips and going out means more time spent in...RESTING! Yes, please! Life will hopefully move at a slower pace where things like movie, show, and gaming marathons take place. Puzzles get built and board games get played. There will be less to interfere with the important things and people in my life. Instead, I can focus on my career, kicking ass in the gym, and spending time with/giving my time to my special people. There will be even more home-cooked meals, work done on little house projects, and time spent laying around reading books. And the whole time, those financial goals will be getting reached! No one will die, it will all be okay, and they won't fault me in the end! Feel those muscles burn! :)
Today got so hectic that I didn't even have time to take a shower after I left the gym. I grabbed a protein shake and ran out to run the 749 errands before making it back home for the kids. I was exhausted and still had dinner to get on the table and some cleaning to do. All the while, the kids were giggling, talking to me, rough housing, dragging things out while I was putting things away, and in general constantly moving and making loud noises. I was grumpy, stressed, and tired and they pointed it out to me. I was fussing at them, being short, and either being sarcastic or not talking or responding at all.
They were right so I sat my butt down and hung out with them for a bit and guess what? I got to get off my feet and they made me laugh! I still got that dinner on the table and finished my stuff. I got to hear about their little lives and listen to them giggle. That was one of the most important bits of my day and I know they liked it too! I love those little boogers. Plus, even though the day got hectic from the gym onward, my morning was spent working on little things around the house...alone...in total silence. It was marvelous.
What else went right today? I got my workout in, zoned out with music and shot hoops for a bit which is extremely relaxing, did everything I set out to do on my list and more, fit in a Southpark episode which made me laugh, spent time with my bestie, and put up the Christmas tree. The day was so damn positive I'm exhausted! ;)
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| Christmas tree 2018! |
I mentioned Gabrielle Union in my last post because I'm now halfway through her audiobook, We're Going to Need More Wine and its great so far! I love listening to people's stories, especially women's stories. There's almost always something I walk away from them with that helps me in my own thoughts or feelings about life. I think they give me hope in a way.
Screw that. I'm leaving you with three songs I listened to in the gym today! :)
What a sweet, oldie but goodie.
Love to sing along with this one and had a hard time holding it in!
Always loved this one.
What's one positive thing about your day today?
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