Oh music, how I've missed thee

The worst headache of my life so far has kept me from listening to music for a couple days. Today was my first day back with it and I had such a huge surge of emotions that I had goosebumps upon goosebumps upon goosebumps for an entire 30-40 minute commute. I didn't even know such a thing was possible.

Today's car concert included these favorites and more:


I mean...how can I not get excited here. I sang this at the top of my lungs and felt like I was able to let go of something I've been holding on to for awhile which was liberating. That being...I'm never going to be "the nice girl" inside. Maybe I would have been but those weren't the cards I was dealt and I became something else entirely which in the end I think is ok too. I have some strengths I'm pretty proud of! But, as with anyone, I won't be for everyone and not what everyone would choose. Oh well!



This is a pretty stupid song, I admit, but I sang the hell out of it today and always eventually come back for more. His verse sucks and I'm pretty sure that's the only verse. LOL



Aaaaaaah...yes. Excited? I am! This one has gotten me through many special sessions at the gym and can almost always take me to another place.


Brought me to tears within the first 30 seconds as usual. Had to turn this one off so I wouldn't look like a complete freak when I reached my destination. ;)


First three minutes of this are some of my favorite to sing along to but have to be in a special mood for the rest. Wasn't today but you can bet I was killing that first part in my car! LOL

Thank you music! You're the best!!

What are you listening to today?

Not much to say here but checking in...

I have a serious problem with checking out too many books from the library at once. Some people shop, I check out books. I'll never be able to read them all and its ridiculous. Let me give you a glimpse of the madness.

I'm cooking from this cookbook, Mamushka: Recipes from Ukraine and Eastern Europe by Olia Hercules. Well, I have...a little. I do a lot of looking! I'm squeezing one more recipe out of this baby before she goes back! It's served me well so far though. Might come home with me again at some point.

I'm over halfway through Ukrainian Folk-tales by Christina Oparenko and they are fabulous! All have been different from the kind of tales I grew up with via Aesop and Disney. Two thumbs up!

Unexpectedly, I'm halfway through the boob book now. I was expecting to skip around but each chapter's as fascinating as the last and I might end up going cover to cover with this one. I finished a chapter today on the (apparently very sketchy) history of breast implants. Some of this stuff reads like a horror film!! Yet, we continue to do it all in the name of "beauty". I'll save my views on this matter for another time.

I've dug into The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri which was a NEA Big Read in my city while I was in school so I missed out and am just now getting to it. I had to listen to everyone rave about it at the time and the author even came to my library. THAT'S OKAY GUYS!! READING IT NOW, THANKS! ;)

What is a NEA Big Read? So glad you asked!
There's more to it but it goes something like this. The National Endowment for the Arts chooses a specific book, everybody reads it at the same time (like an entire city for example, or state maybe, or nationally, not sure), then there are a massive amount of programs related to the book (e.g., book discussions, author talks, all kinds of stuff where people can get together and do things related to the book).

Want to know more? Want to join in next year? Here's the link.

Oh, you thought we were done? No honey, no. I'm listening to a very ridiculous e-audiobook when I can't deal with music. Don't ask me the name because I haven't even paid attention. I have a second audiobook on CD's in my car about some stalker guy just in case...idk...I get bored or something while I'm driving and the e-audiobook nor music nor the phone is working for me?!! LOLOL I've checked out two other fiction books on top of all this but I'll never get to them in a three week period. I mean, come on.

That's enough about that. Not much to update here.

• I hung out at the beach today and took an epic nap. 
• Still working on picking paint colors though I'm really close. I think I've found the colors I want but still deciding which rooms get which colors.
• Jobs are going well, getting some more hours for July, which means paychecks will be more fun. 
• I survived my kid being in another city for an entire week which was WEIRD!!! 
• I'm putting my family back on the budget train for awhile. I've got money goals over here and its July already.

I doubt I'll get much done this week aside from working, gym-ing, and Mom-ing but it will be okay regardless. Ah, I miss watching movies at the movie theater.

I'll leave you with two songs. Just songs passing through. The first is Cardi B's I Like It featuring Bad Bunny and J Balvin. I'm okay with her part and the guy at the end but the guy in the middle...not so much.


While I was listening to this over the course of a couple days I wanted the sample. So I found it! Here's Pete Rodriguez's I Like it Like That and I like it like that!! Yep, my jokes are bad.


What are you missing right now?

Twenty Ways to be Miserable

I was given a paper a couple weeks ago titled "Twenty Ways to be Miserable". At the time, I was feeling miserable and not in the mood for any lectures on the matter so I did my best faux Exorcist reenactment at the person (see below), folded it neatly, and put it away for later consumption.
via GIPHY
Consumption happened and thoughts were had. Therefore, as a friendly reminder to myself down the road when I need to see these again, here are "Twenty Ways to be Miserable". While we're at it, let's set this to the tone of Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover covered by Miley Cyrus...because I like her version better right now.

1. Wait for others to make you happy.
2. Blame everyone else for your unhappiness.
3. Use "if only" whenever you can regarding money, time, or friends.
4. Compare what you have with what others have.
5. Always be serious.
6. Make statements using the words "always", "never", "nothing", and "everyone".
7. Take responsibility for everyone all the time.
8. Try to please everyone all the time.
9. Down play all of your accomplishments.
10. Never say "no".
11. Do not let others help you.
12. Predict that things will turn out awful for you.
13. Blame others for everything.
14. Do not consider your needs as important.
15. Put yourself down all the time.
16. Assume you know what others are thinking about you without checking it out.
17. If someone is complimenting you, assume they do not know you that well.
18. Do not share your emotions with others.
19. Strive for absolute perfection.
20. Always live in the past or the future.

As is probably true for most people, I do pretty well for a lot of these and fail miserably at others. I take it with a grain of salt and will do my best to improve on a couple things I could do better with.

So, netizens...what have you been doing to make yourself miserable lately? :) Byeeeee!

Conquering pain

Today there was pain (sometimes there will be!) but life waits for no one and after all was said and done I did all I set out to do, and more, and managed to have the most insane cardio session I've had in the gym in weeks, maybe months which affected the rest of my day. In the ongoing game we play of mind over matter, maybe I don't win every day but today I'm claiming a victory.

All it took was a couple key sentences from my trainer, a new, higher level of difficulty on the machine (because I didn't want to do it at all but I'm rebellious even against myself so I made it even harder lol), a little Deftones to help me reach "the dark side" 😈, and a little trance-like music to keep pace with once I "broke through" and got "there". Everything just fell away, I literally felt nothing at all for awhile, and it was a beautiful thing. Today's selections were...

However, come down was hard! Lol I don't think I started having feelings again, physical or not, until about an hour after I left the gym, but come they did! I'm exhausted from this day but like the saying goes, there's always a silver lining. 

What did you conquer today?

I'll leave you with the song that did have me in my feelings today. I'm falling asleep to this one in my ear tonight. Night fam.

Night times are the best times!

Helloooooo! I'm exhausted but everyone is finally asleep meaning I can be alone with my thoughts for awhile. That trumps exhaustion, mmm, I'd say 80% of the time. Let's talk! :)

First off, I'm now up to date on Saga after reading book 6, 7, and 8 shown below...

Favorite character lately is Prince IV from the Robot Kingdom. (Hilarious!) My library didn't own past book six so I had to shell out a little money for the last two books. Book 9 comes out in the fall.
I'll leave a couple of my favorite scenes here and/or scenes that I didn't expect so I can look back later.

First of all, I did NOT expect to turn the page and see an erect penis in a book! HAHA! What made it more funny was what came next...

But of course the guy with a TV screen for a head would be broadcasting porn on his screen as he did his thing. I laughed out loud. Sucks to be Prince Robot IV because everybody knows what you're thinking!

Next up was Alana, the "Mom" in the series.

In the story, Alana has birthed two babies by now and well, it hasn't been the prettiest experience. When I turned to this page the very first thing I saw was her stomach and the very first thing I thought was, Awwww!! Look! Its just like mine! My second thought was, Hmm, and look! She's totally owning hers. I could hug the illustrator for that.

Overall, well done Saga! I look forward to more in the fall.

I'm still reading the boob book here and there as well as a textbook I didn't quite get through in school that I'm referencing now at work. Stay tuned for my next reading adventure.

As far as other pursuits of happiness, I'm still loving Witcher 3 and wish I had endless, uninterrupted hours to play. I also started a K-drama a few weeks back called I'm Not a Robot. Oh, how I've missed K-dramas!

The story is about this guy who is super rich and smart but allergic to humans. (LOLOL So very K-drama-like already!) He's lonely so he buys a robot girl to have instead of a human girl. Except, the "robot" girl gets broken so the scientists send a real girl in its place to pretend to be the robot until they can fix it. But maybe he's not allergic to this ONE girl??? Hmmm?? ;) Every episode makes me laugh out loud as she tries to be a robot and he gets more and more attached. I'm 10-15 episodes in and loving it!

News in real life is that this was the longest day of the year, meaning we're halfway through 2018 and I need to get busy! I have stuff I want to accomplish you know! :) Here's some reminders for myself, some fun things I've learned or done recently, and some things coming up.

• I'm almost done picking paint colors.
• I need to have one more contractor come out to give me a quote on my master bath remodel. That will give me four quotes and I've got to make a decision because this needed to be done forever ago!
• Planting beds have been moved to their final resting places. I need more cardboard and need to find a place to deliver dirt or I'm just going to have to go the bag route. Ugh! $$$
• I experienced the worst finger jam of my short life thus far. Was an interesting experience and not completely devoid of fun. Watching my finger turn blue, purple, green, and yellow as the days passed reminded me of a poem from school by Agra Gra called, And You Call Me Colored. I'll leave it at the bottom of this post. My kids sometimes tease me about turning colors when I bruise, blush, get sunburned, etc., while they continue to be...always brown. Little boogers. :)
• I did a couple things that really pushed my boundaries and were out of my comfort zone and so far have ended up ok. Cheers to growth and growing pains!
• I changed my own taillights and the oil in my mower! Yay for learning new little things and fun was had.
• I can feel it, I'm putting in a new mailbox soon! The one I have has been taunting me since 2012 and at this point the box isn't even attached to the post. Your time is limited mailbox. I'm coming for you...

I think that's enough for now and I've got to get at least a few hours of sleep. Until next time!

Here's the poem:

When I was born I was black

When I was sad I was black

When I was hot I was black

When I was sick I was black

When I was scared I was black

When you was born you was pink

When you was sad you was blue

When you was hot you was red

When you was sick you was green

When you was scared you was yellow

And you call me colored.

~Agra Gra

Hard to talk to you right now

I have no desire to speak to you tonight though I've thought of you for days and what I might share. In the end, I'll put little to nothing here. Only this...

This song has been on repeat all day and in my ear at every possible moment. LOUD! 

A great one for car concerts of which I'm a huge fan and put on daily!!! ;) Which brings me to my next point...

For the 976th time, I was frustrated today that I cannot get the music in my car to be as loud as I need it to be! I've blown speakers, I've worn earbuds and noise cancelling headphones while driving, which I have to live with outside of the car, but car times are important times and what I have is not enough. I literally need to be able to feel the music vibrating the inside of my body. My very first memory of that sensation was as a little girl in the back of my Dad's car. I want to be able to scream lyrics if I want and not hear myself and I need it to drown out my thoughts so I can have peace. Every time I get a new car I tell myself that this time I will put better speakers in that can handle what I need but I always put the money towards other things and then its too close to getting another car. Its a key way that I cope with things, I got frustrated about it again today, I'm not going to do anything about it because the money truly is better spent elsewhere, and I'm aware that I'll be deaf when I'm old. But hey, at least I didn't get addicted to drugs. Right?! ;)

I'll force myself to come back to you soon.

Updates and a little gratitude

Checking in here even though my heart's not really in it today, or lately. It's good for me though so there will be a few updates and such and then I'll go.

I'm now deep into the Saga series and still digging it but (Whew!) it's starting to get a bit depressing. On top of that I recently found out that what I thought was a complete series of only six books is in actuality still running with the 9th (and not final) book being published this fall. I like to finish things. Sigh. I've recently finished book 3, 4, and 5 shown below. They get extra points for showing full frontal penis though and not in a "porn" way.  That doesn't happen often. Also, I think my favorite character so far is Lying Cat! It's a giant, blue, hairless cat that will say "Lying!" anytime it hears a lie. How precious is that?!

I'm also dabbling in a book I accidentally found in the library called Breasts: a natural and unatural history by Florence Williams. I dont know that I'll read it all but the hilarious description of her breastfeeding expectations versus reality in the first chapter has me hooked for the moment.

In other news, the planting beds for the garden have been built (so fun!) and are sitting in the backyard awaiting dirt.  Pictures will come along soon for that.
The kiddos are out of school and the whirlwind that is summer vacation has begun. I'm thinking a beach trip is in order this weekend and then my youngest turns eight on Monday. EIGHT!!! So I'll be baking a cake this weekend. :) White cake, white icing, and covered in sliced strawberries; same cake he orders from his mom every year. Awww.
I didn't get to do as much adventurous cooking as I would've liked to lately but I was able to make some homemade Ukranian garlic bread and borscht. Very fun cooking and though I'd never tasted anything like it, the soup grew on me over the several days I was eating it. I give borscht a thumbs up!

That's all for now so I'll leave you with...Hmm, what should I leave you with?...

Let's go with three things I'm grateful for today!

1. My kids; their lives, happiness, innocence, health, joy.
2. Best friends; because they make my world go 'round and make life sweeter.
3. Sunshine!!!! I love it and it makes me feel happy!

What are you grateful for today?