Again with the before class thing...
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I made a therapy appointment yesterday. 22 days and I will be sitting on a therapist's couch...again. How surreal. I have so many emotions coursing through me at the same time. Mostly I have been feeling grief. I have felt as though I have been mourning for over a month now. Like someone died. Maybe another piece of me died or maybe its something that is in my mind that i am not particularly aware of. I just feel like I am experiencing loss. Occasionally I feel a fighting spirit, like I'm not going to be taken down...but...what am I fighting for...or against. I'm having trouble going to school. I hate being around people. I hate how I just automatically fall into it. I can't just be myself, silent, mourning, self loathing. They don't deserve that. They didn't do anything.
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I had not been to therapy in over two years so this was a HUGE step for me. I have since had three sessions and I am so glad that I made the decision to go back.
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