Gosh, I have wanted to post for days as there is so much bouncing around in my head but the task of getting it down here is too daunting.
Sooooo, I will just say that it has been an emotional rollercoaster the last few days and once again I am the only one who knew about it. I sometimes find it hard to believe that there can be so much going on inside of me and yet I must look like some emotional void to the rest of the world. I guess that I really am that good of an actor, without even trying. It gets annoying sometimes. It would be nice to be tapped into or noticed sometime.
Okay good night for now.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Big sigh
It is almost 7am and I STILL cannot go to sleep. I can't do this shit anymore...living...yet I keep doing it. I forget what I am fighting for sometimes...everything kind of gets overshadowed sometimes...I'm not even fighting, I'm only existing. What kind of life is that? I don't have anything left for the people I love. I'm starting to hate my birthday a little...its becoming more like the day I died than the day I was born. Not my fault but eh...life's not fair, right?
Saturday, February 20, 2010
more from Giada De Laurentiis' Everyday Pasta Cookbook
Three new recipes today...
-Bruschetta with Frisee, Prosciutto, and Mozzarella-These were another appetizer from the front of the cookbook. Basically they were like little sandwiches but YUM!! They were drizzled with a Red Wine Vinaigrette, my first, that was also from the cookbook. It was delicious and I ended up using some on a salad I ate later. Lastly, I made Creamy Orzo and oh man it was good. It was also very satisfying to sit and watch my three year old eat tomatoes, onions, and peas(all contained within this dish) and love it. This is once again not my photo but it is what I made. Try this, you will love it!
Well, contrary to how this post may sound right now I am actually drowning in depression right now as always and don't have any more in me to just fake so I am gonna bow out of here for tonight and head into the land of music. 'Night...
-Bruschetta with Frisee, Prosciutto, and Mozzarella-These were another appetizer from the front of the cookbook. Basically they were like little sandwiches but YUM!! They were drizzled with a Red Wine Vinaigrette, my first, that was also from the cookbook. It was delicious and I ended up using some on a salad I ate later. Lastly, I made Creamy Orzo and oh man it was good. It was also very satisfying to sit and watch my three year old eat tomatoes, onions, and peas(all contained within this dish) and love it. This is once again not my photo but it is what I made. Try this, you will love it!
Well, contrary to how this post may sound right now I am actually drowning in depression right now as always and don't have any more in me to just fake so I am gonna bow out of here for tonight and head into the land of music. 'Night...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A catch-all...
So this is going to be a little of a catch-all. I have a few things rattling around in my noggin and just need to get them down/tell someone.
First, and most pressing is that our heater seems to have broken. It is 65 degrees in our house right now and its the middle of the night. I shudder, pun intended, to think how cold it is going to be in here by morning. Luckily we live in Florida so its not like we are going to freeze or anything. Maintenance will be getting a call from me in the morning...just one of the perks of on-base housing.
Second, with regards to the weather, my seeds are sprouting!!! I documented the beginning of my first container garden here and I am happy to say that it seems to be working. I will give them a little time to become more visible before I photograph them and post here. If all goes well then I will just need to thin them out a little and then go get my two tomato plants and I will be well on my way down gardening lane. Gosh I am so corny sometimes.
Third, I recently got back into sewing and made up a quick knit maternity top. What should have been an easy, quick, comfy top ended up being a disaster that sucked up all of my sewing mojo and spit it out. I will be posting a review soon for that...ugh I don't even want to post any pics but I will. Soooooo, I am getting my mojo back slowly and since I am all preggers and fat and my body is, and will be, ever changing for probably the next year I am focusing on educating myself on all things sewing. I had just started down the "pants fitting" journey before I got pregnant and I still want to master this. I ripped into my "to donate" bag and got out all of my old jeans that I liked but had minor issues and I have started deconstructing them and cataloging measurements, fabrics, design details, etc. I plan on making simple patterns from these and comparing them to each other and to other pants patterns I buy/have to help with my fitting issues. Eventually, I will know my lower body like the back of my hand and be able to fit it like a glove. I found a lot of great fashion design textbooks online as well and have added those to my wish list. I looked up some design school course outlines to see what they basically cover to guide me. I saw things like color theory and design, textiles, fashion drawing/sketching, and obviously they are well versed in the construction of garments, etc. I know zip about most of these things but can see how they would all help me in my quest to becoming a great seamstress. Some of you are probably thinking that this is WAY overboard but this is just the way I do things. As my husband often says about my slightly obsessive compulsive personality, "I go hard." I completely immerse myself in things and soak up anything I can find on the subject.
Fourth, I cooked something new today. Well, I almost always cook something new. What I mean is that I cooked something that I have never had before, French Onion Soup. I got the recipe out of my giant Better Homes and Garden Cookbook (Love this cookbook by the way and you can get your copy here if you want). The soup was low calorie and even though the taste was different than what I am used to it was a bit addicting as I downed three servings of it. My three year old even liked it and that is saying a lot!
Have I mentioned it is COLD in here!!!!
First, and most pressing is that our heater seems to have broken. It is 65 degrees in our house right now and its the middle of the night. I shudder, pun intended, to think how cold it is going to be in here by morning. Luckily we live in Florida so its not like we are going to freeze or anything. Maintenance will be getting a call from me in the morning...just one of the perks of on-base housing.
Second, with regards to the weather, my seeds are sprouting!!! I documented the beginning of my first container garden here and I am happy to say that it seems to be working. I will give them a little time to become more visible before I photograph them and post here. If all goes well then I will just need to thin them out a little and then go get my two tomato plants and I will be well on my way down gardening lane. Gosh I am so corny sometimes.
Third, I recently got back into sewing and made up a quick knit maternity top. What should have been an easy, quick, comfy top ended up being a disaster that sucked up all of my sewing mojo and spit it out. I will be posting a review soon for that...ugh I don't even want to post any pics but I will. Soooooo, I am getting my mojo back slowly and since I am all preggers and fat and my body is, and will be, ever changing for probably the next year I am focusing on educating myself on all things sewing. I had just started down the "pants fitting" journey before I got pregnant and I still want to master this. I ripped into my "to donate" bag and got out all of my old jeans that I liked but had minor issues and I have started deconstructing them and cataloging measurements, fabrics, design details, etc. I plan on making simple patterns from these and comparing them to each other and to other pants patterns I buy/have to help with my fitting issues. Eventually, I will know my lower body like the back of my hand and be able to fit it like a glove. I found a lot of great fashion design textbooks online as well and have added those to my wish list. I looked up some design school course outlines to see what they basically cover to guide me. I saw things like color theory and design, textiles, fashion drawing/sketching, and obviously they are well versed in the construction of garments, etc. I know zip about most of these things but can see how they would all help me in my quest to becoming a great seamstress. Some of you are probably thinking that this is WAY overboard but this is just the way I do things. As my husband often says about my slightly obsessive compulsive personality, "I go hard." I completely immerse myself in things and soak up anything I can find on the subject.
Fourth, I cooked something new today. Well, I almost always cook something new. What I mean is that I cooked something that I have never had before, French Onion Soup. I got the recipe out of my giant Better Homes and Garden Cookbook (Love this cookbook by the way and you can get your copy here if you want). The soup was low calorie and even though the taste was different than what I am used to it was a bit addicting as I downed three servings of it. My three year old even liked it and that is saying a lot!
Have I mentioned it is COLD in here!!!!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
just chatting into cyberspace
Okay so we are on day three of the garden. Still no seedlings but I shouldn't expect to see anything for about another four days. I really suck at remembering to water them daily so they have been getting their watering at about 3am everyday as that is around the time that I remember.
On another note, my little one turned three today. What a big day! We had a small party for him with some family and his little cousins. He had fun, there were gifts, there was cake, it was all good but my goodness was that stressful. I have never been more sure that I am not the entertaining type. I was stressed out all weekend about having people flowing through my house. I believe that everyone has a personal space all their own. It may be small or large but it is private and relaxing for them. Maybe it is your car, or the bathtub, or your bedroom or office. Well, mine happens to be my entire house. I hate having people in my house around my personal things and everything in my house falls under the category of "my personal things". Its one of the things I have a really hard time with about being married/living with someone because my husband has friends and family over sometimes and of course it is his house too so that is his prerogative but I get very uncomfortable until everyone leaves again.
On to sewing...I have been getting the sewing itch back lately. I cleaned my sewing space up and there are tons of new cute patterns to be made BUT I am still a big fat pregnant lady for a few more months so I bought a maternity shirt pattern for now just to be working on something. I have some purple jersey in my small stash but I need to pick up some tissue paper for tracing the pattern and then I can get started. I'm sure I will let you all know when that is. Okay, enough for tonight.
On another note, my little one turned three today. What a big day! We had a small party for him with some family and his little cousins. He had fun, there were gifts, there was cake, it was all good but my goodness was that stressful. I have never been more sure that I am not the entertaining type. I was stressed out all weekend about having people flowing through my house. I believe that everyone has a personal space all their own. It may be small or large but it is private and relaxing for them. Maybe it is your car, or the bathtub, or your bedroom or office. Well, mine happens to be my entire house. I hate having people in my house around my personal things and everything in my house falls under the category of "my personal things". Its one of the things I have a really hard time with about being married/living with someone because my husband has friends and family over sometimes and of course it is his house too so that is his prerogative but I get very uncomfortable until everyone leaves again.
On to sewing...I have been getting the sewing itch back lately. I cleaned my sewing space up and there are tons of new cute patterns to be made BUT I am still a big fat pregnant lady for a few more months so I bought a maternity shirt pattern for now just to be working on something. I have some purple jersey in my small stash but I need to pick up some tissue paper for tracing the pattern and then I can get started. I'm sure I will let you all know when that is. Okay, enough for tonight.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
My first garden
I have wanted a garden for years now but we do not own our own home so that poses a problem. I learned about container gardening a few years back but the timing just wasn't right for me. For the last couple of years I have adhere to "clean eating" which is basically eating things from as natural a source as possible. Think, as unprocessed as possible while still being healthy. So, I find myself in the grocery store week after week buying the same things over and over; fruits, veggies, lean proteins, complex carbohydrates, healthy fats. I'm sick of buying things I could grow on my own.
On with my little story, I bought containers and my soil mixes and some seeds and went to town on my back patio.
I need to keep track of what I am doing so I will just jot down what I did here for observation purposes.
My soil consists of:
1/3 perlite
1/3 peat moss
1/3 potting soil and/or potting mix
I will be using Fish Emulsion for fertilizer bi-weekly
I planted the seeds for:
Black Seeded Simpson Lettuce (looks like leaf lettuce)
Wild Arugula
Large Leaf Italian Basil
Italian Flat Leaf Parsley
Little Gem Lettuce (Romaine Type)
I planted these today and they all say that they should start coming up in 7-10 days. I don't REALLY know what I am doing so we will see what happens. Here's to hoping!
I also purchased some seeds for tomato plants but I don't want to have to start them inside for 6-8 weeks so I may just go buy two tomato plants to put in my pots instead.
When/if the seeds sprout and come through I will take pictures and post them here. Feel free to leave me any tips/tricks in the comments. I need all the help I can get here.
On with my little story, I bought containers and my soil mixes and some seeds and went to town on my back patio.
I need to keep track of what I am doing so I will just jot down what I did here for observation purposes.
My soil consists of:
1/3 perlite
1/3 peat moss
1/3 potting soil and/or potting mix
I will be using Fish Emulsion for fertilizer bi-weekly
I planted the seeds for:
Black Seeded Simpson Lettuce (looks like leaf lettuce)
Wild Arugula
Large Leaf Italian Basil
Italian Flat Leaf Parsley
Little Gem Lettuce (Romaine Type)
I planted these today and they all say that they should start coming up in 7-10 days. I don't REALLY know what I am doing so we will see what happens. Here's to hoping!
I also purchased some seeds for tomato plants but I don't want to have to start them inside for 6-8 weeks so I may just go buy two tomato plants to put in my pots instead.
When/if the seeds sprout and come through I will take pictures and post them here. Feel free to leave me any tips/tricks in the comments. I need all the help I can get here.
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