Nervous and stagnant and scared, oh my!!

Now that grad school is over, the family-visit rotation has started up again and I'll be traveling to see quite a few of them this weekend. Yesterday, the emotions about that came, as they always do. 😩 I don't know how to describe it. Simply put, it feels bad...like a horrible blanket that I used to wear and have since put away but always seems to slide back on when I know I'm going to be around people from my past. On the other hand, I'm excited to see them and I'm almost guaranteed to have a good time. Its complicated.

The most important presentation of my life so far is coming up in a couple weeks. I applied for a bigger and better job again and have been called in for an interview/exam/presentation combo which is great! I'd be nervous for that anyway but I really want this job so I'm extra nervous. 

Never been through an interview process like this before so its intimidating. The presentation is only 5-10 minutes and I'm sure I'll do fine but its going to be hanging over my head in a major way until its over. The good news is that all this is going down on a Friday morning so once I'm done and walk out of that building, I can relax and do whatever I like the most for the whole weekend.

I think these two things I've just talked about have me feeling kind of stagnant. I think I've put myself on pause until they pass so I feel dull and like I'm not making any progress even though seeing my family and getting a job like this were both on my list of goals for 2018 so I am, in fact, making some progress. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just nervous, ok? Leave me alone! 😉

In book news...

I've finally found a book that's scaring me. Its scaring me so much that I've actually had to throw it down a couple times because I couldn't know what the next sentence was!! I've searched high and low (years!) for a book that could scare me without success so this??...THIS??!?!...makes me happy.

It's called Bird Box and its by a guy named Josh Malerman. I will definitely check out what else this guy's written. Anyway, so far it goes like this. There's something going on in the world. People started seeing something that would make them violently kill others and then themselves. There have been some really epic deaths, too! Once people started figuring out that it was something people were seeing outside, everybody got really paranoid and started blindfolding themselves/barricading themselves into dark houses. (Think The Quite Place movie, except with sight instead of noise) Obviously, a lot of people died. Now, four years later, a mom is going to try to take her kids (who are four and have literally never seen the light of day) 20 miles down the river that's behind their house, blindfolded.... I don't know what's at the end of her journey yet or what the "things" are that people are seeing. The fact that they know these things are out there with them coupled with only being able to hear/feel things is making it REALLY scary. The unknown is almost always scarier than the known. It better not be zombies and it better not be a bird. Lol. 

Wanna know what is so awesome though?! While I was writing this paragraph, I found out that its been made into a movie that releases in December of this year!!! 

That's enough for now because its almost gym time. Keep your head down and keep grinding!