Twenty Ways to be Miserable

I was given a paper a couple weeks ago titled "Twenty Ways to be Miserable". At the time, I was feeling miserable and not in the mood for any lectures on the matter so I did my best faux Exorcist reenactment at the person (see below), folded it neatly, and put it away for later consumption.
via GIPHY
Consumption happened and thoughts were had. Therefore, as a friendly reminder to myself down the road when I need to see these again, here are "Twenty Ways to be Miserable". While we're at it, let's set this to the tone of Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover covered by Miley Cyrus...because I like her version better right now.

1. Wait for others to make you happy.
2. Blame everyone else for your unhappiness.
3. Use "if only" whenever you can regarding money, time, or friends.
4. Compare what you have with what others have.
5. Always be serious.
6. Make statements using the words "always", "never", "nothing", and "everyone".
7. Take responsibility for everyone all the time.
8. Try to please everyone all the time.
9. Down play all of your accomplishments.
10. Never say "no".
11. Do not let others help you.
12. Predict that things will turn out awful for you.
13. Blame others for everything.
14. Do not consider your needs as important.
15. Put yourself down all the time.
16. Assume you know what others are thinking about you without checking it out.
17. If someone is complimenting you, assume they do not know you that well.
18. Do not share your emotions with others.
19. Strive for absolute perfection.
20. Always live in the past or the future.

As is probably true for most people, I do pretty well for a lot of these and fail miserably at others. I take it with a grain of salt and will do my best to improve on a couple things I could do better with.

So, netizens...what have you been doing to make yourself miserable lately? :) Byeeeee!