Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Good days sometimes get weird!

Hmm, its been an emotional day. Not very good at those. Good ones. Bad ones, Blah ones. I can't keep up! Maybe I'm just having one of those "girl" days in which case it sucks being a girl sometimes. ;)



It started with a bad dream that, to put it nicely, involved me offering to have some very bad things done to me in order to protect someone or something I loved. I don't always wake up when bad parts of dreams start happening and its sometimes hard to block out those images during the remainder of the day. Today is one of those days.

There's been some really great moments today as well and I'm bursting with gratitude for the good in my life!

As I'm going though the process of leaving one job to start another, people are saying their goodbyes and all sorts of nice things, my desk is slowly becoming as if I was never there, interviews are happening to replace me, and it was announced today that there will be an ice cream party in my name on my last day. Nice people I work with. Its a little sad and change isn't always easy but its a good change. I've noticed I'm hungry all over again to learn more and do more in my field. Maybe more on that another time.

I said some things I wish I hadn't today. I was beating myself up over it but decided to just chalk it up to this little emotional day I'm having, hope no one is paying me any attention anyway, and move on.

This next one threw me over the edge. I was home from a great time at the gym, drinking a protein shake, perfectly fine, and had a few minutes before picking up my kids. My kids have never been to church so I pulled a few up online to see what they were all about so I could maybe take them sometime. About two minutes of research in, I unexpectedly broke down in sobs at the computer. I cried and cried. lol. On one side, there is something in my mind that is rebelling at the thought of taking my kids to church. Or maybe its something about imagining myself in a church again. Maybe both. This isn't the first time this little instantaneous bout of tears has shown up in relation to the thought of church-going. There's something there, it hurts, and its from my time growing up. All I could think looking at the pictures on the church websites was, "Its too nice!" which only made me cry harder. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm just emotional today and church threw me over the emotional edge. I'll think on that another day.

I was excited to get my kids from school so I could hang out with them but I've been cast away in pursuit of other, more exciting endeavors. Lol. They're cute little boogers. Therefore, I'm going to make some food for them and delve into the world of Witcher 3. I doubt I will cry over Witcher or damage any of my relationships by playing. Haha. Its a safe bet to finish out my day! :) Bye!!





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